Day 163.0: Very Frustrating!

Folks!

I feel like I'm a man on fire but there is this wall in front of me that I find difficult to climb.

Strangely, I seem to feel that there are people who want to help me BUT like the help is either behind the wall or up on the wall BUT just too far for me to reach!

I'm frustrated with a lot of things because I want to make my business work (W4$3) but I'm still not getting the results that I want.

I think I know what to do but when I want to do them, I hit a wall like:

1. No internet connection
2. No time/opportunity
3. No way to improve my situation.

These 3 points are like excuses and I hate excuses BUT what if it is REAL?!

Like there is no internet connection that I can use to have access so that I can do the business activities for my W4$3 business?

And when I do find ways to get some internet connection, the speed is horrendously SLOW!

Or, when I have the opportunity to go to a Cyber Cafe to access the internet, my spouse would want me to do something else and I have to do something else, instead of my W4$3 biz!

Which leads to point 2 where when I have the time, I don't have the opportunity!

AND, now that I have just gotten my Work Permit, I'm going to have even more of a struggle to find time to get my W4$3 going!!! Because I have to go to work and when I've finished work, I won't have the time and/or energy to access my W4$3 business.

Like think about my daily routine:

1. Send wife to work: 8:00am
2. Start work: 9:00am
   
3. Work: 9:00am to 10:00pm
4. Reach home: 10:30pm or 11:00pm.
5. Want to do my W4$3 biz: How? No internet connection at home nor at Mother-In-Law's house! Go to Cyber Cafe? At 11:00pm?!
   

And what will the wife be doing? Making noise that I don't spend time with her and baby and family because I am always working!

And how much am I getting from my work? RM500 + Commission.

That is not a lot of money for the amount of work that I am doing BUT I am still going to do it because it was my prayer that got me that job.

So?

So, if my on-line activities only grant me USD100.00 a year (2008) and my off-line is going to give me at lease RM6000(USD1,600) a year plus commission, I guess the later is better isn't it?

It doesn't make sense really as I had a perfect work/biz model where I can stay close to the family and have a lot of time on my hand and have the potential to earn a comfortable income. But now, I have to go back to getting a job, work 12 hours a day and get 1 day off or sometimes none at all and get less that what I aspect.

The one thing that REALLY BUGS me is the lact of Internet Connection at my own home!

At least of there is one, I can still spend some time like after 11:00pm or 12:00pm to do some internet business based activities, right?